Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out Of The Shadows Review (PC)

I’ve grown up with The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.  Right from the eighties cartoon show, to that horrible Saban produced series, to the rebooted version that is currently on Nickelodeon.  They haven’t made a decent turtles game in a long time, and i mean a really long time.  Still no matter how horrible each iteration can be I am always willing to give the turtles a chance.

Let’s just jump straight into it.  The level’s seem poorly designed with no clear indication of which way you’re supposed to be heading and interactive objects aren’t clearly marked, making levels that are actually easy into one annoying chore.  While running between checkpoints on the levels, everything feels rather stiff.  Ninja turtles are supposed to be fast and swift  but these guys are just clunky occasionally  getting stuck next to each other, or getting caught between a rock and a hard place.  then they’ll just stand there looking like four green idiots.  Space bar, left click and right click are going to be the most common of combinations.  Space bar to do everything, slide, roll, jump, wall run, evade.  Left click for primary attack and right click for kicks, no seriously for kicking.  While that is pretty much the way to do it, It just doesn’t feel right, almost like Rocksteady had a baby that was actually engineered in a test tube, it broke out, fell on it’s head ,it’s brain splattered on the floor and then it tried to make a game… 

The combat has some great potential, mimicking that of Batman:  Arkham Asylum and Arkham City, except without the fine tuning and polish.  You’re attacks feel very sluggish and delayed and counters have to be precise in order to keep your combo up.  Speaking of keeping your combos up, IT IS SERIOUSLY HARD TO KEEP YOUR COMBOS UP!  You’re timing has to be perfect.   They should maybe have implemented a lock on camera of sorts, or tried zooming the camera out slightly so you can see all your targets. When you are surrounded by a group of enemies, it is difficult to see at what point you have to counter because all bad guys are standing on top of you.  When an enemy is about to attack they either flash white which means you can counter or orange to counter multiple attacks from the same enemy to red which means you need to jump out the way.   You can also pull off team take downs and things but they are so difficult to setup, one with getting the combo’s high and the other is that your turtle brothers end up doing their own thing which also adds to the frustration.

tmnt combat

Further more the boss battles are highly annoying and it’s a button mashing extravaganza.  One big boss, and all the minions to attack you at the same time.  Frustrations through the roof and I’ve played Ninja Gaiden.  

Visually the game looks good, not great but perfect for what the developers were going for.  New York feels dark, dank and dirty.  Just the sort of place you would expect four giant mutant sized turtles who happen to be trained in martial arts to roam.  The graphics are nothing really impressive.  Combining slight cell shading with traditional 3d makes it look interesting but nothing special.  They could have gone in one direction and the outcome would have been the same.  I heard there were a few frame rate issues on the console counterpart and there are definitely frame rate problems on the PC as well.  Nothing game breaking mind you but they are there.

The story is as generic as it could get.  April gets kidnapped, turtles have to save her, fighting a whole bunch of new enemies and old enemies.  Trust me, you’ve been through this before.

It is with a heavy heart that this game gets a low score because i really wanted to enjoy it.  I honestly could not, due to the shitty controls, bad level designs, stiff combat and in general just bad energy from this game.   Read how this rating is given after the score.

Gameplay  :  1

Story           :  1

Graphics     :  2

Bullshit       :  0


My rating as a test is based on one of United We Game’s bloggers, Dean Mozian who presented this idea of how to review games.  Without further adieu, i present to you The Bullshit Review Scale. Explained in his own words:

“Scores are based on three categories:


Each of these categories gives a max of 3 points which can total as much as 9. The 10th point comes from what I like to call a “bullshit” point…


This idea of this point is to award the games you especially liked. It can be because all of the pieces came together really well or maybe the game has a special lasting appeal that keeps you coming back.  It could even be just because you’re a fan of the developer.  Really, any reason whatsoever.”

Leave a comment if you think the scoring is wrong, if the method works up to a point, or if you enjoyed the game.  ‘Till next time.


Assassins Creed 3 Review

When I started playing this game last week Wednesday, I was amped up and super excited.  I bought the freedom edition which came with an awesome figurine of Connor with the old American flag behind him, a George Washington diary, a metal case with art work by Alex Ross, and something else.  The George Washington diary looked awesome but unfortunately somebody at the printing company screwed up.  Some of the pages were bound in on each other which I found rather disappointing.  But luckily this is a review of the game not the journal but I suppose I should have taken that as a warning sign.

The game continues directly from where Revelations ended.  Desmond, Rebecca, Shaun and Desmond’s father, William Miles arrive at the grand temple where they are supposed to unlock the secrets to saving the world from a big ass solar flare, an event that would take place December 21, 2012.  You relive another of Desmond’s ancestor’s life, Ratonhnhaké:ton, pronounced “Ra-doon-ha-kay-doon” or his western name, Connor Kenway.  The time period is set from 1753 to 1783 way after the revolutionary war ended.  I’m not going to delve into the plot at all with regards to Connor’s or Desmond’s story but just how the game plays and what the experience over all was.

First off, the game is stunningly beautiful, especially in winter.  When you’re running around the frontier, jumping through trees and watching patrols amble their way in the snow, you can’t help but admire the beauty of it all.  The level of detail with regards to the frontier is breath taking but Boston and New York not so much, mostly because there really wasn’t much to see in these towns.  They were still new towns developing so it felt kind of bland.  If they could’ve used the anvil next engine in say France it would be freaking beautiful.  It would have been absolutely stunning if they had this engine for the previous instalments.  A nice new addition to the weather is rain and storms. I could almost smell the petrichor in the air (that’s the scent you smell right before it rains). The character animations are a big step up when compared to the older games and the fluidity of the movements make it that much better.  The best thing about this game is the naval battles.  Commanding your own ship on stormy seas and blasting the shit out of enemies was the biggest high point of this game.  It looks beautiful, believable, the controls are easy to grasp and it’s generally just a shit load of fun.  You can also hunt animals but it becomes a bit tedious and very time consuming.  The quick travel returns but kind of defeats the purpose of quick travel because you actually explore the tunnel and have to find a way out.

But more importantly one of the greatest things about Assassins Creed is the story.  Right from the beginning when every one of us fan boys was trying to decipher the symbols that were painted on the lab walls and floors, we were trying to figure out just what the hell was going on.  Then Assassins Creed 2 wet our appetite even more with the glyph locations and the video titled the truth showing Adam and Eve.  Brotherhood was just as good and Ubisoft kept the modern story arc going and always left you wanting more and googling to your hearts content, desperate to solve the mystery.  When Revelations came out I thought that the Ezio saga was getting stale but it did still have some pull and I thoroughly enjoyed the final chapter of Ezio’s adventure and was anxiously awaiting how Desmond fits into this web of conspiracy and it’s here that Ubisoft lost the plot.

Visually and if you only play the naval battle missions and spend all your time in the frontier, this game is a freaking master piece but unfortunately I feel that Ubisoft has put a lot of effort into places that isn’t relevant to the Assassins Creed experience and has missed the bar completely on this one.

Assassins Creed 3 is the buggiest triple-A game I have ever played and that’s with the day one patch.  Connor got stuck in walls at times, I saw a chest move by itself, guards that stop patrolling, a ladies dress that defied gravity and so much more that I was actually tempted to send hate mail to Ubisoft.  There were no tombs to discover, not a hell of a lot of platforming and nothing worth discovering either.  Side missions have lost all meaning to the story and present little to no challenge at all.  Synchronizing one hundred percent no longer adds to the enjoyment of replaying a level because your optional objectives are not always challenging, instead they become excruciatingly painful.  The combat system has been dumbed down to the point that you might as well not even get into a fight because all you have to do is wait for a guard to attack and then either disarm them or counter attack them.  While I am aware that this is roughly the same as the previous games the combat in here specifically lacks any excitement. Also when a line of guards is about to fire at you, you have a chance to grab a nearby enemy and use them as a human shield but there are times where you can’t see the warning indicator and you will get shot to hell and loose a substantial amount of health in the process.  Speaking of health, it regenerates after a combat sequence and it is almost impossible to die unless you deliberately run off a cliff or miss the warning indicator and get shot at twice by rows of guards.

The biggest problem I have with this game is the story.  The main story arc of saving the world ended way too easily and it left me with a, Is that it?, kind of feeling.  I was sorely disappointed at how Ubisoft spent all this time building up this awesome story and then just ending it with hardly any drama or emotion.  None of the characters had a sense of impending doom upon them.  They expressed concern sure, but not one of them showed fear or even panicked.  It’s like they didn’t really care or understand the ramifications of this thing.   They were all completely emotionless except for maybe a few small scenes. Ubisoft tied up a few loose ends but everything was just so easy.  It almost feels like they got bored with their own story and personally, after investing five years worth into this series, the ending and the answers that we get leaves me with a horrible taste in my mouth.   Connor’s story was also exceptionally boring and he had no character development at all.  He was either, whiney, neutral, frustrated or angry and he was just doing as he was told.  Granted he was driven by revenge after his village burned down but you would think that after years of training to be an assassin that he would have some form of enlightenment or understanding and start realizing that there are bigger things happening in his world besides his needless lust for vengeance.

This is an empty shell of an Assassins Creed game and it honestly hurts to say such bad things about it.  For a game that has had a three year development process, it felt rushed, unpolished and had a general lack of care and effort put into it.  If this is how they treat their top IP franchises I don’t want to imagine how they treat their lowest IP and this review is coming from a dedicated Assassins Creed fan boy who owns all the original games for PC and PS3.

If you’re a fan you will probably appreciate the finer things this game has to offer but if you’re new to this IP rather play the first four and give this a miss and watch the ending on You Tube.