The Two Year Time Gap

Well, it certainly has been a long time hasn’t it. 🙂

Much has changed since that somewhat bleak post just over two years ago.  I was still in a bad space, clearly. I’m starting to feel an itch, an itch that needs to be scratched.  The problem is that I can’t remember how to scratch it.  It’s almost like my brain has lost complete knowledge of how I ever used to do this.  But all I can do I guess, is put my fingers to the keyboard and just let something happen. Lets see where this takes us.

As I said in the beginning much has changed.  After that last post, even after the comments from Drakulus and Cary, I never came back on here.  I didn’t even think about writing about games. In all honesty, games weren’t even on my mind.  The will to game had been lost and I didn’t care. I quite literally forgot that I had a WordPress account and totally disregarded all my notifications in my Gamers Therapy email account. There were other things to focus on.

I tried being healthy, (which is bullshit because I’m still smoking), so as healthy as a smoker could be. I was completely committed to losing weight (which technically is cheating because I was depressed at the time so the fat just fell off).  Truth be told my life had been completely reset and I think for the better.

July 2014 to February 2015:

I stayed at my job as a Xerox IT Analyst, hung out with a few friends who happened to stay close to where I was boarding at the time, went to another friend every Friday night to play guitar hero until very early hours of the morning.  These were all distractions of course, things to keep me busy so I didn’t have to think of what an utter failure I had become.  I went through some bad bouts as well.  I don’t really drink but there was an event or something and I had a drink or drinks, I honestly can’t remember and my walls came crumbling down. It was awfully embarrassing. Here was this 29-year-old man, taking antidepressants, bawling like a complete baby over his life. (good times) but there was someone helping me move along, picking me up whenever I stumbled, giving me complete and unconditional love and support.  This person became my rock, my fortress of solitude. I was excited to get home to see and speak to her. We went for walks, went to the beach, played Mario Kart and spoke about everything. She helped me more than ever. You see, I have no family here besides my daughter (forgot I had daughter didn’t you) and she quickly became my family. There was never any judgement or contempt over my failures or stumbles and she is always still there for me. Her name is Michaela.

Eventually, I started to find some motivation in my life.  The place that I was staying was becoming to crowded and negative for my liking and so I had every intention to leave as soon as I could. (There are much more details into these events but for the sake of this post, I’m not going to delve into specifics) I eventually found a great little flat which I am still currently staying in. So good to have my own space!! Having finally achieved independence again things started progressing slowly forward.

February 2015 to March 2016:

Many things changed during this period. Michaela and I had formed a solid relationship, she even moved in with me I think after three months. We were never really good at being apart. Michaela worked at a video store (having just finished high school, that’s kind of the only job that was around) and eventually I started working there as well for a bit of extra cash. This was our life now, I had two jobs. My main one being the IT guy and the second working at a video store. Mici (Michaela) and I were always together. We created our own personal bubble and a fuck the world attitude. Unfortunately, the world had that same attitude with us so things were good but definitely not easy.  We would come home and watch series, and movies. Every now and then a friend would come by but we generally like to keep to ourselves.  My daughter Paige started visiting every Saturday and eventually would spend the night as well. I also managed to get myself a car. (i was using the company car during this time) Eventually, I got myself off of those pesky antidepressants and I even managed to get myself  a Playstation 4.

April 2016 to now:

Obviously, Mici and I didn’t want to work at our jobs forever. I didn’t want two jobs because that was exhausting and Mici was becoming worried that she wouldn’t find anything else. She needed more of challenge and I needed to get out of my comfort zone.  We both took a chance and started applying for work.  It took Mici months to finally find a job but I think it was worth it in the end as she seems to really enjoy it. She is an assistant accountant now at one of the most prestigious accounting firms in town. Me, I left my job at Xerox and started working for a more IT related field technician. The money is way better, plus commission which is insanely easy to get.  Because of my nearly ten-year work career at Xerox I decided to cash in on my pension as there were things that I needed to get for myself which was only a car as the other was costing me more than I would have liked.  I found myself a good car and after that Mici and I just kind of enjoyed the money for a bit. Yeah it was a stupid decision. I should have put the rest straight into a savings account or a retirement fund but I didn’t and you know what? Best decision ever. I don’t regret spending that money at all. We had months of being comfortable, not over doing it but if we wanted to go out we would. If i wanted to buy her a gift I could and that feeling is awesome.  For my thirtieth birthday she and I traveled up to Johannesburg to see my family and we enjoyed a very expensive and awesome night at a strip club called teasers.(Yup, you read that right. Who else has a girl who actually wants to go see other naked ladies with you, plus my family…how screwed up are we, haha)

Nothing much has really changed in the last few months since then.  Mici loves her job. My job is very stressful and I’m thinking about rebooting my career but I’m still seeing where it goes currently. I’ve been gaming a lot lately which has been extremely enjoyable and I’m even excited about games that are coming out even though they are remasters.

That’s my life up until me writing this article.

Enough about me…

How are you guys?

P.S. Yesterday we took Paige to the Lion Park and I can’t resist but upload this. It’s a beautiful pic of Mici and Paige. Aren’t they both the most beautiful things ever? 🙂

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Welcome to the Gamers Sphere

gamerssphereYou know it’s funny.  I remember starting my original blog http://www.vitosal.wordpress.com a few years ago.  I had no idea what the hell I wanted to talk about.  I would write about current events, movies, series, games, anything that really tickled my fancy.  The reason why I wanted to even start a blog was because I was depressed and couldn’t express myself.  I was going to use it as a form of therapy hence the name “Gamers Therapy” which is a name I only thought of after I started blogging.  As time went on, I started finding what I wanted to talk about and I experimented with a few ideas.  The only thing I could really find myself talking about was gaming.  I used to be a casual gamer but since I got my PS3, things have drastically changed.  I found myself completely shocked and awed by how far gaming has come since the early PS2 days and still I kick myself for getting off the train just when things were starting to get even more exciting.  Coming back to this world has been great therapy for me and I’ve met such wonderful people.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not the best blogger nor the best writer or the most disciplined person.  There was a time where months would go by where I hadn’t posted a single thing.  I got despondent over my views and every article I wrote just didn’t seem to get anywhere.

Eventually I decided to create a new blog moving everything over from Vitosal to Gamers Therapy.  When this happened, I had more of a direction that I wanted my blog to head in.  I wanted it to be the next IGN.  Big dreams, right?  I wrote a few reviews, a couple of articles but my timing was off and I had no idea how much of handful my newborn at the time was going to be.  There was just no time for anything!  It was baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, sleep, baby, baby, baby, baby, eat,baby, baby, baby sleep.  It was exhausting.  The reason I say my timing was off was because I created Gamers Therapy at the time my daughter was born.  So I just didn’t blog for months!

When Paige (my daughter) was 10 months old, my wife and I had a streak of bad luck that really got us down.  I needed to blog.  So I hopped on my computer and just started writing.  I can’t remember what I wrote but I felt better and then the next week I wrote again and the week after and the week after playing around with various ideas and narrative driven articles, editorials and such.

During this process I had found a system of when I could blog, play video games and hang out with my family and without even trying I had made quite a handful of viewers and met some great people on WordPress.  I remember meeting Drakulus who was rather upset with me because I had linked my article to his.  As a man he felt the need to defend his honor and went off at me in the comments of my article, I responded with an explanation.  After a one comment stand-off and a misunderstanding, apologies were exchanged and we became friends.  It’s a rather profound moment for me because usually when I argue with someone over the internet I have a tendency to ignore them.  Not so with Drakulus.  He just always gets in your face and I love him for that.

I’m getting to my point soon.  I was lucky enough to meet lots of talented people who I could definitely learn from here on WordPress and still am learning from.  Then John Heatz came into my world.  I remember Drakulus first mentioning his site to me and I thought nothing of it.  After all, usually people have certain ideas and dreams but never really put the effort into making them a reality.  John Heatz emailed me asking to join a team of exceptionally talented bloggers and although nervous I agreed and so far it has been one hell of an experience for me.

I’ve realized now, where my strengths are, what I enjoy doing and in a few short months I’ve grown a lot more confident, even now currently organizing a podcast.  But John Heatz has a dream.  A dream that many of us like-minded gamers have.  But the difference between those guys and us here at John Heatz is we’re doing something about it.  All credit goes to John here, he has been pulling magic out of his ass.  We (the team) came up with a few game names and after a bit of pitching around we found one titled Gamers Sphere.  John has out of his own pocket bought the domain and while writing this article is probably working on the new site as all new sites have teething problems.

John is following his dream, and I’m so ecstatically happy that I have been given an opportunity to follow my dream with him.

So in the next week or two I’d like you faithful followers who read my content here and at John Heatz every week to please support us at our new site www.gamerssphere.com.  We would hate to lose any followers.  With a whole new design, the freedom to operate and John’s Guru like technical prowess, the sky really is the limit.  Over at Gamers Sphere you can still read our reviews, news, previews but in the coming months we will have new content that should tickle everyone’s taste buds including our first podcast.  The site is still being worked on so please don’t be discouraged if you run into an error, rest assured it will be corrected.  Future updates on the site, and when it is fully operational will be updated on this article.

So please spread the word and if you have any questions, comments or suggestions feel free to email me at gamerstherapy@gmail.com or tweet @gamerstherapy or just leave a comment here.

Till Next Time,

Beyond!