The Building Blocks of My New Path. Managing My Disorder, Owning It & Talking About It. (A life update)

My disorder is not my identity

I’m changing and for the better. Little by little, changes are becoming apparent to me.

The last time I posted, was in June and as you all know, I tend to go radio silent for a while. I run out of things to say, to express and share so I take a break and live my life and see what comes of it so that I can come back here and share it with you.

Many things have changed, some for the better and some for the worse. I managed to find a place where I could earn a bit of extra cash during the week. I’m not actually employed by the company however the owner was and is going through a tough time and needed an extra pair of hands to manage their store. It’s actually an art gallery. This is pretty perfect for me as I love looking at art and I have such respect for artists. I get lost in some of the paintings and my imagination runs wild with the abstract pieces. To be honest, some of the paintings make me want to cry, they are just that beautiful.

Another positive element of hanging around here is that I learn a whole bunch of new skills. Not just the generic managing the store, there are plenty of other things as well for instance social marketing and networking which is something I have been interested in for quite some time so this gives me that experience and lays down the first couple of new blocks for my path going forward.

I feel that I have been managing my mental health much better lately. My dosage has been reduced a tiny smidge which is a win. I breathe to calm myself down almost every day. I apply the CBT techniques to get facts over difficult situations. It has not been easy. I had a panic attack at the art gallery a few weeks ago which really took a toll on me and I felt like such a failure at that moment that I almost wanted to quit BUT progress is progress no matter how little it seems.

I have also become extremely open with my condition. Where I stay the stigma over mental health and what people say about individuals who have to be admitted to our mental health clinic is sad. I say this because sometimes it’s the same people who fuel the stigma who actually need the help the clinic offers. I’m kind of done being subtle about it in my town.

My disorder is not my identity. I am Ryan, I love nerd and geek things. I love to play video games, I enjoy photography, I try to help people where I can, I have a six-year-old daughter and I MANAGE my mental health disorder.

My goal going forward is to help others do the same. I don’t how or when yet, but I’ll figure it out.

Wimpy, HemingwaysMall ups their game with Nonkie the Waitron – A warm personality that eases the most anxious of minds

Did I ever tell you about Nonkie? No? Well, I guess I wouldn’t have. She has been an unknown constant in my life since my first admittance to St. Marks.
Some people might think that the constants are friends and family that they see every day that support you, however, you might be leaving out some random people that you never even thought of as you might not seem them as often.  Here is a story of Nonkie the Waitron an unknown, positive constant in my life that I have taken for granted.

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Why You Don’t Watch Big Event Movies On Opening Day

I’ve already given my first impression thoughts of Avengers End Game and had planned to see it the following Sunday. Unfortunately, being the mega-blockbuster it is, it was still sold out and just way to busy, and considering it’s already broken and it’s set to break all other kinds of records so I won’t get peeved at it for drawing a crowd.

I did, however, get a chance to see it again today and my thoughts have changed for the better but that will come in a separate post. I realize now, my enjoyment for this film was hampered by the crowd that I was with on opening day.

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Be With You – Anxiety Tips

Another video out of the door and I think I’m starting to find my feet with a general theme.

In this video, I urge you to be with you. I share two anxiety tips that help me in my life, help me to relax and disconnect from the world. I also show you my cheap, cheap setup and show off my favourite spot in the whole wide world!


Words of the Weekend #27

Hi there, it’s me again and I’m hoping that I’m taking the correct steps and heading in the right direction with the goals that I want to achieve. Not much has happened in the last week but at the same time, personally and as a creator, some things are progressing rather nicely.

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