It’s me Vitosal, I know you are used to me writing about games and haven gotten use to my once or twice a week posting of articles but hear me out, OK? I AM FREAKING EXHAUSTED.
Currently, I’m already in bed. It’s only 21:35 for heaven’s sake! I feel old, spent, washed up and I still have a busy couple of days ahead of me. Debz and I are moving house again this weekend and it’s just created a mountain of stress. We organized a trailer, then it got cancelled, and we’re left running around like chickens with our heads cut off.
I haven’t gamed in two days either. That’s not good, that leaves me frazzled and on edge and on top of that my cravings to smoke have returned which really, seriously irritate me considering that it’s been like, what, two months since I quit?
As I’m sure you’ve noticed, I’ve had two or three re-blogged articles from Johnheatz. In case you missed it, I’m now contributing there as well and just decided to focus on posting articles there. Thing is the articles I did are not very interesting. They are news bits, something you could easily just get from IGN, or anything else that’s interesting. Am I complaining? Nope, I’m not the best writer and I’m the first to admit it, so writing those news articles do allow me to hone my skills, but what is sort of annoying me is that it takes me forever to even write one of those articles. Let’s see, how many words have I written here now….256 words and counting. It’s taken me seven minutes to write 275 words now. Writing news articles, having to re-word them, is just so tedious and boring and it takes me between 1-2 hours to make sure it’s perfect which it isn’t.
That’s the other thing. I’m O.C.D. sort of, so when I’m posting an article over there, I’m constantly checking, and proof reading, God it’s so annoying. The Assassins Creed 4 review that I did, that took me most of the day to write. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing it’s just long and tedious and I did enjoy writing that review but I need to relax when I write because Jeez, seriously, I don’t think it’s healthy to put myself under so much pressure. I hate being a Leo, I always work to be the best, and get the limelight, even though I actually hate the limelight but my ego doesn’t it. Arrgghh, it is so frustrating being me sometimes.
I’ve met some pretty cool people over there, like V and we both ended up having an extended talkathon over Skype the other night and it was just a really good conversation. I miss being able to converse like that. It’s just such a shame that everyone on the team is separated by oceans.
How the hell do professional journalists write so many articles in one day? Debbie asked me if I’m not going to burn myself out, referencing my personality and how I strive to be better instead of pacing myself and working slowly and patiently. I guess, I don’t want to let the team down over at John Heatz. At the moment, I feel like a rat running around a maze, not knowing where to go, or what the protocols are, where all I want to do is write about what I feel like writing about at that particular moment.
Sigh, I’m tired. My eyes are rolling into the back of my head.
So, this would be the first ever, true to god, honest moment that I’ve actually had with my blog or my audience. I don’t think I’ve ever been this honest or just open and you know what the funny thing is? I’m not even trying to write right now, my hands are possessed on the keyboard and my thoughts are just flowing out like some sort of dam that’s exploded and it feels really good.
Maybe my blog will be like what the name entails. Therapy for gamers. Working at the new site, allows me to write about games there, so maybe this will be my personal outlet.
I will still finish my Assassins Creed series, so don’t worry about that.
Till next timea very tired