Words of the Weekend #26

 

Well, another weekend has come and gone and with the return of the cursed Monday, so to does another Words of the Weekend grace your screen. Unfortunately, my weekend did not involve relaxation, it was much more taxing, physically and emotionally.

As with every Friday evening when I get home from work, I will come inside and make myself a cup of coffee and play a video game. Oh wait, that doesn’t happen anymore. This has obviously changed since all I do now is focus on my Youtube channel and this blog so I actually haven’t gamed in about two months. I really need to get back to it.

I have got Wolfenstein 2, God of War, Horizon Zero Dawn and I think four other games that I just haven’t gotten around to finishing. What’s the point in running a blog called Gamers Therapy when the gamer part of me is falling short?

I have decided to temporarily give up on streaming to Twitch. It is so much effort to figure out that platform, plus be part of that community. I’m already trying to grow three communities at once so I think I can give Twitch a break until the other platforms start picking up steam.

With that said, I do still support streamers and whoever I feel are nice people and it seems as if most of them are, at least from what they share on Twitter so I will retweet their notifications in order for more viewers to hopefully join there stream.  In return, I’m hoping I get more followers on Twitter and maybe I can drive them to my Youtube channel where they can see a novice in action.

Everybody needs help right?

Over the weekend I was inspired to write an article about EA which I will be posting tomorrow afternoon accompanied by a youtube video on the same subject so be sure to check it out.

Saturday afternoon I ended up having to work at one of my clients which was a bummer as I didn’t get to see my daughter on Saturday night because of this and I was working again on Sunday. So, I actually had no weekend.

I did feel emotionally wrecked on Saturday night though. Before I had to rush to work, I was watching Youtube videos on how to get more subscribers, viewers, making thumbnails, etc and I just started to feel so despondent with this goal.

At this moment, I was frustrated, I was battling to write the EA article because I hate having to recap information like a news presenter even though that’s what I pretty much ended up sounding like on the video. But it was all these things that I hadn’t thought of regarding youtube and I just lost motivation to proceed. It was just me doing everything and then discovering there was more to do and I ended up feeling completely lost.

I really did give up in that moment. I just didn’t care anymore. I was prepared to stay at my meaningless job and rot there until I die. It was a bad feeling. I felt pathetic, like I could do nothing right and that because of who I am, my chances were next to zero and there was no way I would reach this goal that I have set for myself.

Mici was sweet though. Whenever one of us feels this way we always decide to go to the gas station and just pick up copious amounts of junk food.

Chocolate is love after all.

I felt a little better on Sunday though, as I slept right through Saturday night. I had no nightmares and I don’t remember waking up at all which is a huge improvement. When I got back from work in the afternoon I proceeded to finish my EA article and started preparations for the video which of course was the smart decision to make.

As soon you feel like giving up, or the anxiety tells you how weak you are and you should just stay in bed. You do the opposite. You get up and you do something.

I attempted to film myself in front of Mici but I was way to embarrassed and self-concious so I only ended up doing the recording today. But I think I have figured out my editing strategy as I recorded the audio and did the editing and syncing, created a thumbnail and have it uploaded ready for tomorrow afternoon so I’m quite chuffed.

On a more sour note my medical aid might not be covering my therapy sessions anymore which is scaring me as I feel I really need them right now. The cost of one session which is only an hour is R950 which is $80. So now I have to try and figure that problem out. With all the expenses that I currently have, I don’t know if I’ll be able to afford it.

I’ll have to see what happens.

‘Till next time,

Be good to each other.

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