Do you obsess or find yourself being a little more compulsive than others? Do you like things being done a specific way and like to get things done immediately just to get them done and then when you find yourself obsessing or being compulsive on a project for work, or your hobby or maybe even gaming because you’re just so pedantic and losing hours of the night only to find yourself not being as productive the next day? Well, you’re not alone.
I am a very pedantic person and once I set my mind to something regardless if it’s well thought out or not I charge immediately. It’s even worse if I get motivated with the idea and get it in my head that it is totally achievable. This has been happening probably around the second or third week of starting this blog. I want things done a certain way, organized to my liking and then I obsess. I wrote an article about this recently.
Look, sometimes obsessing can be good and productive but it’s being aware that you are obsessing and finding a way to reign it in that’s the problem. This is something I am still battling with. The last two, maybe three weeks I have been going to bed pretty late. My mind has been laser-focused on this blog, networking online, video editing, podcasts and YouTube videos. I actually haven’t really stopped to take a breath.
I get lost in what I enjoy doing and because everything has to be perfect or I’m excited about it I end up losing so much time in the evenings and getting to bed really late. This is a problem you see, especially for someone with an anxiety disorder or is prone to depression. Anxiety and depression go hand in hand. The one does not get bigger without the other. Anxiety feeds depression and with getting fewer hours in the evening to calm your mind and re-energize your body, it becomes easier for anxiety to kick in and harder for you to control it.
It’s silly to think that for somone who has just come out of wellness clinic might forget about something as important as sleep but it’s not a case of forgetting, it’s a case of being distracted. At the wellness clinic, they had a very strict schedule, eat your breakfast at 8am, take pills at 8:30am, group therapy between 8:45am and 12:00pm. At 13:00 you have lunch, at 13:30 you take your pills then more group from 14:00 until 15:00 and then exercise or meditation between 15:00 and 16:00. If you’re an in-house patient you can’t leave the premises so it’s free time between 16:00 and 19:00. At 19:00 you have supper and at 20:00 you take your pills. Lights out at 21:30 or 22:00. It might sound like a prison but it’s not. It’s a way to get you on a schedule for when you leave. The problem with this system however is that it’s not real life.
Once you get out and you have the demands of the real world again, it becomes considerably harder in order to achieve a balance of eating correctly, taking pills on time and going to bed at a reasonable hour. Currently, my balance is all out of whack again. I don’t eat three meals a day, I go to bed late and I don’t take the time to switch my mind off, to stop the flood of thoughts.
I went to bed at around 5am on Friday night because I was obsessing about something and I can’t remember now what it was. Saturday I could feel it all day. I wasn’t down but I just felt less-energized. Feeling less energized also makes me feel much more sensitive in general and I’ll start to worry about what people think of me if there was any hidden connotation to messages that have been sent to me, that kind of thing. At some point last night I was completely demotivated and felt like this couldn’t be done. What I’m trying to achieve is not good enough, I’m not good enough and it’s too hard to break into this type of industry with what I want to do.
The answer? “Get some sleep, you idiot!”, as Mici, my girlfriend said to me last night when she asked what was wrong and I rambled on about how I was feeling. She was right of course. She’s the queen of sleep so she knows what she’s talking about. True enough, I closed my laptop, watched a live stream on Twitch and then went to bed. I had a solid eight hours of sleep last night.
The result? I felt re-energized, motivated, and even had inspiration for this article and while writing again, the words are just flowing.
So in closing, it is hard to get to bed at a reasonable hour but it’s important that you do. Some of you reading might just shrug it off and blame lack of self-control but I assure you that is not the case. People like me, lose time due to obsession and sometimes we need help to bring us back to what our bodies need.
Get a good night’s sleep.