I think I crossed over from being in the moment and enjoying what I was doing straight through to obsessive and then defeat. It’s been a long while since I’ve kept up with this blog, posting nearly every day and it felt good to do that. So good in fact that it started to motivate me to try and do something really productive with it and get it to my liking. I’ve hit a few speed humps and now I’m demotivated over the whole damn thing.
Yesterday after my Ready Player One Review, I felt the urge to see what I could do with this blog. I managed to figure out how to create “pages” which are actually just categories and put them in a menu. You know that after all of the years that I’ve used this theme I never knew how to do that until yesterday. I mean, how pathetic is that? But I was insanely happy and started to tinker with more widgets and menu’s and whatnots (Which you can currently see if you shift your eyes to the top and the right 🙂 ) I got hold of my old colleague Erick who posts on his site over at Gamers Sphere and he gave me some advice, tips and checked the blog out for me. So thanks Eric.
I went through every post that I had ever done and updated the tags and assigned them to the correct categories. I updated headings, links, shortcuts, descriptions, anything you could possibly imagine I did it. I even had to google the difference between an editor and a columnist to find out which I was and honestly I’m still not sure. Also for some reason some of the articles that I was updating seemed to get published as new which caused a whole bunch of old articles like reviews of games to appear on peoples feeds and I couldn’t figure out why but at least the content was still there. I had been fine tuning and tweaking the blog for about nine hours straight. (Yes, I know that this was pretty much obsessing and I completely failed to realize it) Eventually, when everything was more or less to my liking I went to bed.
When I got up this morning, I was stupidly excited to see what else I could possibly improve and maybe with my updated tags I would have a few extra hits on my articles. Sadly not but there’s still time I guess. So what I obsessed with today was linking accounts through other platforms to my blog. Making sure Twitter was connected, google +, Facebook but then it hit me. I have a playstation 4. I’ve been wanting to start some form of live streaming so I thought let’s try it now. I went onto my ps4, and linked my PSN account to the YouTube Channel of Gamers Therapy. Sadly, I couldn’t start a live stream for at least twenty four hours. I don’t know why there is that restriction but I guess I had to wait but because I was excited and obsessing, I figured I would test out live streaming going over Daily Motion.
I went onto the site, created an account and boom! everything was ready. Back on the ps4, I linked up the PSN account to Daily Motion and proceeded to give this live streaming a test. I was super keen……it did not work. About five minutes in, an error popped on the ps4 (CE-33141-2). Well shit. At least the ps4 notifications were sort of working in a limited way. The Playstation 4 will post updates of games and live streaming to my public profile on my home page NOT to the Gamers Therapy Facebook Page that I already manage. I want it to go to the page because not everybody I know is a gamer. Very, very limiting and for lack of a better word pathetic that it can’t be done. My Twitter and facebook send out the “Check out Gamers Therapy live stream” message (Which is sent from the ps4) only for me to have to delete it. Kind of worried that it gives me a bad name. Searching for that error code that the PS4 gave proved fruitless. Even Sony’s own support site didn’t have the code in their database. I moved on, figuring I will wait until the YouTube live streaming service is up tomorrow and found two more problems that I wanted to fix which was the YouTube accounts.
I have my private email which has a YouTube account and a Gamers Therapy email which also has a YouTube account. Somewhere along the line I created a “Brand” that is also Gamers Therapy and that is connected to my private account somehow. I wanted to see if I could move that content right over to the Gamers Therapy email account. I can’t. For lack of a better word the whole system to try and figure out which account is listed to what channel is convoluted. I can’t change ownership. I tried deleting the Google+ page because the “help” section told me to if I wanted to delete a brand account only to read later on that a brand account apparently can’t be deleted but it can be hidden. I’m saying this shit but I don’t understand it. I just want it to work. I then thought about maybe deleting my accounts completely to start from scratch but according to YouTube I can only download five of my own videos in one twenty four hour period. (I wanted to download my videos for backups before deleting the account in case that wasn’t clear) They are my videos on my own account! So I gave up.
Have you ever just sprawled on the couch, completely defeated, stretching your arm to move the cursor on your laptop having no life left in you? That’s what I was doing. I decided to search for Gamers Therapy on YouTube to see where my videos would pop out and I got a nasty surprise. There are so many people on YouTube now that somehow use “Gamers Therapy” in their subjects and descriptions. The worst part is that all of them are practically shit. There is one where it’s just a fish tank with fishes in it. Disgusting brown text flashing at the bottom of the screen asking people to subscribe. I’m not saying my content is fantastic but it’s better than that. There were so many of the same videos of it.
Now I’m in two minds. I feel that I need to start this blog from scratch with a new name and everything. Create a new private email, get a new YouTube Channel, and just reset. I’ll have to delete the facebook page, the twitter account, all of it. At the same time I don’t want to lose any of my followers which granted isn’t many and my blog never reaches anything higher than 60 views and that would be on a good day so I’m stuck. I have no idea what to do now. There just doesn’t seem to be any point in continuing. I’m still using it for therapy but I can’t seem to do what I want to do and that really bums me out as I was super motivated for nine straight hours the night before.