*I would just like to let you all know that I was able to successfully record my gameplay of Zelda Part 3, the video is after the article. Please comment if you like it, don’t like it, suggestions or otherwise. Thanks again.
Last week on Vitosal Plays: (Click this link to get the full experience)
Vitosal entered the Kakariko Village in order to locate the elder and find the Master Sword. While searching, Vitosal got conned out of money by a phoney fortune teller, discovered warrants for his arrest, and even though he collects hearts there is never any evidence of blood shed. Eventually he found the elder’s home only to discover that the elder went missing when other girls started vanishing…today that adventure continues…
…The lined eye lady tells me to keep searching the town. Sure, I’ve got nothing better to do. Only the kingdom needs to be saved! Why isn’t anyone offering to help me? I walk to a couple of pots, hoping to make my money back from that bastard Orco but fate again is against me, three pots later and I’ve got nothing to show for it. Except maybe making lined eye lady sweep up the mess. I decide to leave. If I’m going to find the elder, then I’m going to have to be exceptionally thorough. Take my time and go house to house.
Right next door to lined eye lady, is a beautiful blue walled, green leaf colored roof, house. Almost as if nature itself had thrown up on it. I slash some bushes first, satisfying my blood rage and to my delight I receive a green coin. This day is turning around! I enter the house of nature. Upon entering this house, I must say I was quite disappointed with the decor. Seriously, two tables and four pots? No wonder this guys roof is made of leaves. He can’t afford anything else. That also explains why there’s no Mrs. I start my normal thing of smashing pots and collecting bloodless hearts and another coin. A thought hits me though. If I throw a pot at a normal resident, will it hit them? I don’t take a second to ponder. I chuck a pot at the guy inside and strangely enough, it misses, it actually flies right over his head. Interesting, this top down world’s concept of physics is completely backwards. Oh well. I decided to speak to this guy and he tells me that the house used to belong to a group of thieves and that the main guys name was…..Blind? Yes, Blind. His parents obviously didn’t love him enough and to make matters worse, Blind didn’t like bright light…..Poor Blind.
Another doorway at the back of the roof beckons my attention and I obey, remembering that I have to be thorough in my search. Boy, I should be thorough more often. As I enter I am greeted by a room with four treasure chests. Cha-Ching! Pay day, baby! I run to the nearest chest, desperate for more things to stuff in my “can never seem to get full” bag. Oh, I have to be in front of the treasure chest but there’s a grey square that’s blocking my route. I run to the other side of the room where another treasure chest is just out of my reach thanks to another grey square. I push down on the square and it moves one space down leaving an opening for another square to be moved. I get it, I have to push these squares around in a very specific order so that i can get to the chests. Sure, it’s not like the world’s at stake! I manage to get one treasure chest but made a poor puzzle decision in which I would have to forfeit the three left over chests. Defeated and not wanting to waste time, I go back upstairs. As I was climbing up, I was thinking about the pot that didn’t hit the resident. If some rules don’t apply in this world then just maybe, nothing that I do is really permanent. I rush back downstairs and true enough, my epiphany was correct. On entering the treasure chest room again, all the grey squares had moved back to their original locations. Like an invisible force was actually looking out for me. I manage to get the rest of the treasures and then I leave the house.
I start walking around the town, searching for a clue that will lead me to the elder. I meet a very polite salesman that sold me a bottle in which I can keep an item in it for later use. The salesman then instructed me after I had purchased it to raise the item above my head. I comply and as if I were the center of this universe, I was applauded with 16-bit music making every body else aware that this three hearted, pixie, elf, thing had just purchased a bottle. Does everyone get 16-bit music when they buy things? I hope it didn’t make the other residents jealous. The last thing I need is to make more enemies.
I pack the bottle away and down the road, I see an old lady with grey hair walking aimlessly up and down. I decide to see if I can help. As I make contact, her pixelated eyes go wide with terror and she starts screaming for the soldiers. Damn, those warrant boards! She runs into the safety of her house. Suddenly, everything changes, urgent 16-bit music starts playing through the world and I see a soldier makes his way down to me. I have a sword, he has a spear. He has the advantage. In my imagination, I said something clever before we tussled. (Please think of your own something clever to say). I decided to use my super secret attack only known to our family (holding the attack button for a charge hit) and I end up missing. God Dammit! He attacks and he gets a few good shots in. He has me on the ropes and I swing wildly. His defense is solid. After a few more swings of my sword, I am the Victor. He flashes and then explodes leaving nothing behind.
I must be honest, I was a little upset that that old woman alerted the guards. I wanted to give her a piece of my mind but she was smart and locked the door. Old Bitch. I continued to explore the town, slashing bushes where I felt like i needed to. Upon slashing one bush, I think a fairy popped out but then it vanished followed by the same sound that’s made when I collect coins. Oh God, did I just collect the fairy or did I eat her? For a fairy she was kind of tasteless though…Anyway.
I found myself at another quaint little house. There were chickens in the yard. Hmmm, I wonder what will happen if…I slash wildly at the chickens! They flash and then…nothing? I attacked them again and still nothing. Just a useless little flash, no explosions, no clucking, no coins, no feathers, just nothing. That’s a little disappointing. I see a kid standing by a fence watching me thoughtfully. These people do have a tendency to stare, although in his defense I literally was just trying to mutilate his chickens. He greets me and suddenly drops a bomb of knowledge. He tells me that the elder is his grandfather and that he’s hiding in a palace past the castle but not to relay the information to anyone else. He was kind enough to even mark the location on my map. What a helpful little boy. Armed with this nugget of information I feel a sudden energy boost. I thank the boy and leave. Although I have the information pertaining to the elder, I still wanted to explore the town a little bit. Across the road, another old lady was sweeping her yard. On my way there I encountered a strange little man who ran away in terror the closer I got to him. He’s definitely got issues. I approached the old lady who was quite pleasant and told me she still believed in me. I went inside her house and Holy Shit, that’s a lot of chickens! Four of these things were just running around aimlessly. There was one pot though which might yield some juicy treasure except no, when I lifted the pot, my reward was another chicken. I left the house feeling slightly…under the feather….(Lame!)
There was another house right next door to the old lady who still believes in me, so I decided to take a peek. There was a sick boy inside who was under the impression that he got sick from the “evil that is coming off the mountain” Randomly, he then says he owns a bug catching net and that I can lend it….um, yay? Just what I’ve always wanted or needed? How is this going to help me save the world? Geez, good thing I was picked instead of this kid because, damn. He reminds me of Ralph from The Simpsons. I collect some hearts that were hiding underneath some pots in his house and then I leave.
I visited a bar where two old, lonely people were sharing their stories of missing loved ones and two things caught my ear. One of the oldies mentioned that his son went out looking for something called “The Golden Power” and never returned and the other oldie said that there was a woman at the “waterfall of wishing” and that I should meet her. Interesting indeed. Especially that golden power thing. I proceeded to a house which had bushes all over the place. Slashing my way in, a man apologized for the lack of gardening and then wanted to tell me an interesting story. I like interesting stories, so I say sure. He tells me that there is a lake that is “swimming with Zoras” and that the treasure of the Zora can turn a human into a fish. Wow, that’s a really fishy story(lame!), one that I do not believe. You crazy old fool! I believe in golden powers, wishing waterfalls, seals, wizards and an alternate physics based world but fish treasure turning humans into fish, is where I draw the line.
Having finally gotten the elders location I can’t help but wonder what will happen next. Will the elder be able to assist me in locating the master sword? What is the golden power and the wishing waterfall? Can a fish treasure turn a human into a fish? Why do the chickens not die or explode? Only time will tell I guess….