Gamers Are So Mean : Gaming Equality For All

Why are gamers so rude?  I don’t get it, i really don’t.  I’ve been a a gamer most of my life, and I’ve had different types of people enter this fantastic digital world with me that were into gaming, I.T. and a whole bunch of other stuff.  I had black, colored, Indian, Portuguese, white, half Italian friends and i never treated any of them differently.  They were all gamers and on that nugget of wisdom I treat gamers and non-gamers the same because there’s no reason to be a dick about a persons preference in gaming or lack of gaming.

If you guys remember, back in the day it was the dominate thought that gamers were fat. living in their mothers basement’s, eating chocolate bars like a bad Eric Cartman.  If you mentioned gaming you were already deemed a nerd and a dork and would remain a social outcast until you did something exceptionally cool to prove your worth.  Which i still believe is a bull shit tradition.

As the times have changed it’s more popular to be a gamer now more so than ever.  Over the weekend i read an article at Theryanblog in which they were questioning whether achievements and trophies ruined the single player experience and perhaps even tarnish a game depending on the content.  There was a pro’s list and a con’s list and one of the cons stood out.  Maybe I’m ignorant and naive but i never knew that gamers judged other gamers based on their trophy level.  Some gamers won’t even talk to you if you’re level is lower than theirs.  After posting a few comments at the article below i decided to do some testing of my own.

You can read the full article at the link below.

Do Achievements/Trophies Ruin The Gaming Experience?

I game mostly on PS3, so today i thought i would log into PSN, visit a few places, maybe meet some people online and get their opinions on the matter.  By the way, I’m level 12 on PSN.  It’s sad to say that most of the people I met today are dicks.  I kid you not, I met so many people today all of them with a level that’s between the end teens to beginning twenties.  When i sent them a message or entered one of their chat sessions one of three things would happen.  They would either completely ignore me or say directly “we only deal with gamers” and my personal favorite “PM me when you’ve leveled up”.  This is sometimes even before I’ve introduced myself.  They don’t know if I’m a guy, girl, black, white, three-eyed, two brained, seven-limbed, hermaphrodite living in Rome.  These arrogant sons of bitches won’t even acknowledge your existence until you meet there virtual expectations.   That really saddens and annoys me for my own personal reasons that I will get to later on in this article.  It turns out that Trophies/Achievements can ruin some good gaming fun and social networking if you allow it.  But this little example isn’t the end of my story.  If they were quick to judge a person they knew nothing about,  I wondered what would happen if i had to say i was a girl gamer.

So i created a new account on PSN, logged into the account and obviously i had fuck all trophies.  I setup my girl avatar and once i was back online i proceeded to speak to completely random people.  Now it didn’t seem to make a difference what my trophy count was, people were speaking to me.  But not about gaming.  The first thing i got asked was “Are you hot?” Seriously?  What virtual hell have i stumbled into now?  Every time i brought up gaming though the conversation would change back to a more demeaning nature and gaming would not be part of it.  girl-gamer-mopo

So now I’m thinking we as gamers judge other gamers based on a number next to our gamer tag and if you’re a girl gamer you either need to be a flirt to enjoy some company or need to kick ass in a multi-player match in order to prove yourself.   Both of these objectives are bull shit.  I don’t understand why woman have to prove themselves to men.  That’s right i said it, you women shouldn’t have to prove anything and I have only one reason to validate my opinion.  Childbirth, after the birth of my daughter i have seen the ugly side of being a woman and the pain that you guys have to go through and as men we never will never experience that kind of pain and that makes you a hell of a lot stronger.

This whole setup stinks and it honestly saddens me knowing that there are gamers out there who are not in it for the games.  They’d rather just trophy hunt which is OK but it’s not OK to not be polite to someone just because their trophy level is sitting on a lower number than yours.  I feel sorry for girl gamers and I am appalled  by our gaming community in the way that you guys are treated.  I read IGN a lot and one of their bloggers is under the community spotlight  which is a great way to get recognition there.  She’s a gamer and a very pretty one.  One of the first comments on that article “the reason she’s under the community spotlight is because she has big boobs.”   I want to stick my head in the sand and let the world fade away.  I hate reading things like that.  It just fucking bugs the hell out of me.

Let me tell you why i game before i finish this article.  I was a social outcast when i was younger.  I’m short, not very talented, and I had a bit of a confidence issue.  I was also getting picked on at school because i did what i needed to do.  Gaming was an outlet for me to DE-stress and relax.  I only had a handful of gaming buddies at the time that would come play Ice Climber and Battle City with me.  If i didn’t have gaming i would’ve been one of those kids that shot up their schools and I’m very honest about that.  There were plenty of times where I even considered suicide.  Gaming saved my life.  I’m not trying to be dramatic but this is the fact of the matter.

these do not make me a killer

The gaming community should not judge other gamers based on genitalia, sexual preference, age, trophy count, color, race and anything that separates us in the real world.  We should be tolerant, polite, kind and helping.  What was proven today is that some gamers are no better than the people who had outcast us back in the day and you give us a bad name.  We were a family at one point.  We all stuck together.  Now we have factions and battle of the sexes.  We don’t know what kind of impact we may have on a persons life when random encounters throw us together so its up to us to be responsible.   You guys being dicks might be the catalyst to some poor kid killing himself when we could’ve helped him all along.   It is our responsibility to help each other.  As gamers we should be united.  From all walks of gaming life, we are all gamers and we should treat each other as such.

Can i get a hallelujah?

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68 comments on “Gamers Are So Mean : Gaming Equality For All

  1. I can’t even count how many times I’ve been disrespected by the gaming community as a whole based on my gender. It’s so bad that I am scared to tell new people I meet that I have a boyfriends because as soon as I do they stop talking to me. I guess it’s not like I want friends like that in the first place, but it hurts when you are trying to make friends and talk about the man you love and they just shut you out. I have been kicked from lobbies of L4D based on my GT (LadyCroft3). I’ll enter and hear another girl say something like “WTF that Lady person is another girl, kick that bitch” and I’m just thinking “I just want to play the damn game…”

    I could go on and on. but I still have no idea why people are so mean in the gaming community for various reasons. Shouldn’t we all be getting along since we share a huge common interest?

    • i completely agree. I read a few stories about girl gamers acting like complete nut cases to other girl gamers because she’s some how proven she’s worthy of being part of the boys. Which is excuse my language, completely fucked up. Doing things like that is empowering those gamers that think they are better than everyone else.

      Even on normal comments people just go nuts sometimes. I can’t comment on anything at IGN because people become monsters and you end up with personal insults.

      You’re right and that’s my point. We should be united and stand together proudly as gamers.

      • Exactly, they think they have to prove how good they are by trashing other girls which is totally wrong. A lot of them also trash other girls because they want to be the only girl, i.e. the only one getting attention. It just perpetuates stereotypes and is rude to boot. People are just crazy, I hope it changes some day.

      • You know honestly, i don’t think it will ever change. People hide behind anonymity on the internet. I’m sure acceptance and tolerance will get better but we’ll still have those individuals who love to say whatever they want. It’s a shame because we as gamers we could rule the world 🙂

    • My wife and I game together regularly, if i’m playing online and someone starts being rude I usually just leave. I’m really, really good at playing games. I’ve been gaming since I was 1 years old. I play games on the PS3, 360, and PC and i’ve been lucky enough to find some really nice people to play games with. Most of the rude ones in my experience come from games like Call Of Duty/Battlefield. Once you show your skills they try to be your friend but screw them.

      • it’s always the same. Most of these guys come from Call of Battlefield. It’s awesome that you game on all the major platforms. I’ve been lucky enough to use wordpress to find people to add to PSN. WordPress is a great screening process 🙂

        Do you by any chance own a WiiU, or PS Vita, or 3ds. Anything other than the big players?

      • I have a Wii, i’m getting a Wii U next month. I’m going to wait a while before I get the Xbox One, Or PS4. I actually wrote an article on all the next gen consoles if you’re interested :]

      • Always 🙂 But I’ll check it out tomorrow. I’m already following you on twitter as well. It’s amazing how connections start, lol. I’m in South Africa, so it’s like 2am here. I have early shift with my daughter, so i need to go. Take it easy

      • In my experiences, even after I show my skills (this happens most to me in L4D and Halo, both of which I am amazing at) they just harass me out of anger because “the stupid girl” who they just made fun of beat them at “their” game. I too have been lucky enough to make some amazing friends, but at the same time I encounter more nastys than good people. I usually avoid it all by not using a mic and muting the lobby or being in a party (if I’m on the 360) so I don’t have to hear them in the first place. Messages are something I can’t stop though, and I have gotten some funny and awful ones.

      • You can, but honestly I don’t feel like it’s as much of an issue on the PS3 since a lot of people don’t use mics.I don’t do a lot of MP on the PS3, but when I do I never get harassed. I don’t know if it’s due to a more mature community or what.

      • there’s a microsoft joke somewhere in the your post lol. I wonder if it will be different on the PS4 and Xbox One? Being able to mute everyone, block users completely. Me personally, I’ve had no problem blocking a user on my PS3. It really does sadden me that girl gamers have to subjected to this kind of crap.

      • Lol well I do dislike MS as a company 😄 Blocking works, or muting, but what is boils down to is that I shouldn’t have to. No one should have to. It’s sad that so many gamers are so hateful to one another.

      • agreed. What you said just sparked another idea for a post I’d like to write. I am actually backtracking here because i think i just fell into my own trap there by inadvertently calling you a girl gamer, implying there is a difference between a man and woman gamer which is going to lead me to my next post. I apologize for that.

      • No worries, it happens a lot. I do appreciate that you realize it though, a lot of people see nothing wrong with the phrase, but it separates us into genders. We are all gamers, regardless of what we got going on between out legs 😀

      • 🙂 Lead by example i guess. I love the fact that on here we can be completely honest with everyone. Thanks for being “tolerant” and “accepting” lol

      • haha. You know i get torn with the written word at times. Your comment could be as plain as black and white and that is in fact what you meant to say, or it could be laced with sarcasm, sugar coated with a smiley face 🙂

      • I’m more into SP games as well, I only play a few MP games these days, and I only play them with friends. That doesn’t stop the hate on the internet within the gaming community. Oh man, I can’t even count how many complexes I have developed in my time as a woman on the web…

      • is that from online games all over the place or like a specific genre that you get most flack from? I tend to lean that majority of gamers are a little more polite on the smaller mmorpg’s like conquer for instance. What online games are you playing?

      • I used to only really play on my 360 since I had friends on there and it was the first current gen console I owned, using the PS3 for exclusives only. It flipped recently and I never use my 360 anymore, just my PS3 and PC. I’be always been a Sony fan though, I never even owned an Xbox or GameCube, I was all about the PSX and PS2 😀

        Yes, I have played Journey. Brilliant game.

      • you know, everywhere i read that is one the biggest reasons people are going over to Xbox one, because all there friends are there. It sometimes feels like these gamers don’t even consider what the consoles have to offer.

        Myself as well though, I’ve never owned an Xbox, none of the games really grabbed me except for the new one Titan Fall. Always been with Sony, primarily for the games they offer and they were the first, leading the next generation when Playstation came out

      • Sony has always had better games and at the end of the day that is what really matters. Luckily Titan Fall will be on PC as well, it does look like a cool game 🙂

      • oh no doubt. I just think it’s interesting though because to me out of xbox’s whole line up Titan Falls was the one that truly stood, only for their to be rumors that it will come to ps4 at some point

      • I know what you mean. Guys on the internet act like they’ve never heard a woman’s voice before or they’re to proud to admit that they lost from a girl. Are you into MMO’s? I play Guild Wars 2, and Star Wars regularly

      • Really? I thought everyone could play it :[. Well if you’re curious I have a top ten list of MMO’s. You should check them out if you’re trying to find a good one to play :]

      • shot dude. I’ll take a look now. Listen on a totally different subject, and i mean this with all due respect but I’m struggling to navigate your blog. I can’t find those articles you were talking about

  2. Well said! We do need to stick together as gamers. I don’t know why there is such a negative connotation when it comes to being somebody who enjoys playing video games. They’re just as valid an interest as anything else on this planet, so whoever doesn’t think so needs to chill out!

    • I think most of the hate comes from kids to be honest. I don’t even bother gaming with people of a certain age group. I’m not saying all kids act that way but in my experience the majority of them do.

      • That’s an interesting observation which brings me to video game violence and age restrictions. I’ve heard those kids go off on Call of Battlefield and Holy Shit, they know words I’ve never heard of. lol

      • haha so true! The language kids use while playing games online (specifically CoD, Battlefield, Halo, etc.) is often times more vulgar than language used by adults. I’m really happy the Xbox One will have an honor system for online gaming when it comes out because it really is tiresome to be told by 12 year olds that they’re banging my mom over and over again…

      • I know, one moment i’m enjoying my game and the next some random person wants to start bitching because I took his kill, or some petty crap like that. One time I was kicked from a match because I got the highest score.

      • I know right :], It only shows how childish they are. I mean yeah nobody likes to lose {even though we were on the same team} but throwing a bitch fit about it was just immature

      • between you and Joel, I’m going to fall out of my chair with laughter. All i can see now is you getting kicked off of a server because you got the highest score while a 12-year old boy tells you his banging your mom! lol hahaha 🙂

      • Lmao! I’ve gotten so used to that happening to me that it doesn’t bother me anymore. I need to find better people to game with. Until my wife gets a new laptop i’m all alone

  3. thanks for the comment and the like Joel. I’m actually quite surprised that two people have agreed with me, i was expecting some harsh criticism. It’s nice to know that I’m not the only guy who feels this way. I’m curious to know how many others are affected by this. Thanks again

  4. Pingback: Gaming Equality, Meet Censorship | Gamers Therapy

  5. When it comes to hobbies small communities tend to be friendlier. Now that gaming has exploded in popularity and become mainstream it’s sadly the case that the friendly community spirit has vanished. It’s made all the worse by the generally rude/sexist internet culture were people act like dicks as they can hide behind being anonymous.

    I play games for fun and the story so I have no urge to go trophy hunting. It’s no surprise that some players use trophies to measure their e-peen though. Even in the days of Pac-Man gamers have strived to prove they are the best via a high score system of some shape or form.

    As gaming becomes more popular I guess it’s only natural that the hardcore resent casuals for invading their hobby. I guess they use trophies to see who is a “true” gamer worth interacting with and who isn’t. It’s sad as they should be pleased that new blood shares their passion for games not turn them away.

  6. Pingback: 2013 in the Gaming Industry | John Heatz

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